When I was little, I loved to color. I was that kid who always, ALWAYS had marker on her hands. To the point where people weren’t sure if they were bruises or just remnants from an intense battle with a piece of paper and Crayola products. Whenever I wanted to fill in a large space with only one color, I sectioned the area off into smaller segments. This way, as I colored in each bit, I felt like I was moving faster than I really was, accomplishing more. It seemed easier to me to tackle a lot of smaller tasks than blatantly attacking the entire page with a single marker.
I use this divide-and-conquer technique a lot. For example, in karate, during test cycles or black belt testing nights. Instead of thinking “We’ve been here for 2 hours, so we have 2 more to go” or “It’s only 6 o’clock and we’re here till 1 AM.” Many will find it’s much less daunting to think of the test in sections. Running, sparring, the random time where only God knows what could happen, and then finally kata. Thinking it through that way, can make it easier to motivate yourself and push yourself harder throughout the test.
That’s kind of how I’m dealing with college.
Instead of saying to myself “Four more years” (technically three and a half by now), I’ll divide it up into semesters. I don’t know why this makes it easier to digest but for some reason I prefer it. Even though I’ve doubled my task to 8 semesters instead of just 4 years.
8 semesters total.
1 down.
7 to go.
Now I can say, 1 more, then I’ll be a sophomore. Then I’ll be able to say, 1 more and that year’s almost gone.
Okay, so I do sort of freak myself out by thinking I could possibly be done with school in that short of a time span. (Breaking it up like that makes it go by faster in my mind)
When I do this, some days, the whole concept of spending almost every weekday at that awful campus doesn’t seem so bad. For one reason, I know God has called me there. Whether He wants be to attend all four years or just through freshman year. In the words of a great band, Circleslide, “I’ll rejoice, though my heart aches.” I may not like it at college all the time, but that doesn’t change the fact God has put me there and given me a chance to spread His love.
The other reason is that I really do love to learn. Without learning how are humans supposed to move forward?
Improve ourselves?
Succeed?
Survive?
Learning is gaining knowledge, and as everyone always says, knowledge is key.
However, my divide-and-conquer technique has failed me in one aspect. I still have to physically live through each of those 7 semesters.
All of those nights of homework.
All of those conversations about people wasting their young adult lives away with drinking and drugs.
All of those pointless assignments that count for half your grade.
And of course,
All those know-it-all people telling me “You don’t like it because you were home schooled.”
Thankfully, so far, I’ve gotten most people to agree with me that because I was home schooled, I am, in fact, a step ahead of all those who went through public school. Not because I’m smarter than them, but because unlike a good percentage of them, I know how to motivate myself. I already know that if I waste my time, it’s only my time and my success I’m wasting.
After thinking all of it over, I remember that I can handle it, that God will be there with my every step, that deep down I know He wants me on that campus to be a light, and that, in fact, there are some students I actually enjoy being around.
So yes, some days, it doesn’t seem so bad.
It’s not going to be easy. I sincerely doubt these next 3 and half years (or 7 semesters) will be the best years of my life. But as I divide and color each segment in, it doesn’t seem so terrifying.
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